32 Best White Elephant Gifts You Can Buy on the Internet

We found the best of the worst.

white elephant gifts
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Gifts for this hilarious holiday game aren't about being practical, they're about being funny. If you're stumped over the right pick, these sassy gifts (some of which are actually useful) will have the whole party giggling.

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Erin Condren
Erin Condren Doodles & Desk Sets Sticker Pack
Erin Condren amazon.com
$9.98

Literally any Type-A coworker or side hustle partner will appreciate this delightful stickers that can go anywhere — her laptop, notebook, what have you.  

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Wine Away
Wine Away Stain Remover
amazon.com
$8.48

It's likely that any friend in the circle will enjoy (read: need) this stain-fighting spray. 

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BEST SELLER: Sobriety Test Game
amazon.com
$18.02

A game with a juggling ball, a baton, and a blindfold sounds like a terribly fun way to hang out after all that eggnog.

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BEST SELLER: How to Traumatize Your Children
amazon.com
$10.15

In case you want to remind Mom and Dad that you still haven't forgotten about the time they withheld dessert.

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BEST SELLER: Read This if You Want to Be Instagram Famous
amazon.com
$10.56

A book made for your niece, who can't stop Snapchatting the night's events.

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Go Away Doormant
amazon.com
$32.96

A not-so gentle hint for those guests that come around way to often.

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Digging Dog Butt Tissue Holder
amazon.com
$34.94
$14.84 (58% off)

For your best friend or a coworker you barely speak to, it's perfect for anyone.

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Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass
amazon.com
$14.99

Finally, a glass big enough for family holiday parties!

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Air-Freshening Candle
etsy.com
$6.03

Dad's been known to let out some lethal ones, but you can customize the label on this vanilla-scented candle to feature any culprit you want. 

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You've Just Been Poisoned Mug
etsy.com
$14.00

This is a gift any practical joker is sure to appreciate.

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Custom Face Socks
etsy.com
$24.00

Just submit a photo of your intended victim recipient and this Etsy shop will do the rest. 

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What Would Beyoncé Do? Name Plate
amazon.com
$13.99

Whatever it is, you should do the same.

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101 So Bad, They're Good Dad Jokes
amazon.com
$5.99

As if he needs more material. 

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Uncommon Goods
Mustache & Giant Tongue Dog Toys
uncommongoods.com
$10.00

The confused look they give you when you're cracking up will only make this silly gift that much funnier. 

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Funny Silicone Wine Stoppers
amazon.com
$14.95

It's bold of you to assume she'll have any wine left over, but these reusable stoppers will make any standard-sized bottle airtight.

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"If You Can Read This" Socks
etsy.com
$14.99

If she's not after a glass of the "house red," you can opt for a cozy cashmere-blended pair requesting beer or coffee instead. 

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Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat
amazon.com
$12.76

She has enough of it around the house, so might as well get crafty! 

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Whatever Wall Clock
amazon.com
$24.95
$17.95 (28% off)

Better late than never — at least that's what they say. Note: This gift requires one AA battery that's not included. 

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Pack of 5 Funny Pens
etsy.com
$16.50

You can select which five of the messages you want when you order — including "this pen is probably stolen" for your resident office "borrower."

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Pickle Candy
amazon.com
$8.95

It may look disgusting to you, but some Amazon reviewers actually praised the "strong dill" flavor. To each their own ...

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Voodoo Pin Holder
amazon.com
$9.00

It's a convenient push pin holder — and the perfect desktop stress reliever. 

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If You Really Love Me You'll Let Me Sleep Pillow Cover
amazon.com
$21.99
$9.99 (55% off)

Consider it official permission to hit snooze three more times. (Psst: If you want to spring for an insert to go with it, here's one on .) 

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Joking Hazard Game
amazon.com
$24.95

This raunchy party game where players create their own comic strips is definitely not safe for kids. We repeat: NOT SAFE FOR KIDS.

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Chill Pills Phone Case
amazon.com
$8.99

This particular cover fits a regular iPhone 7, so don't forget to size up or down based on the device you're trying to give a laidback makeover. 

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You're Only Old Once!: A Book for Obsolete Children
amazon.com
$19.95
$13.59 (32% off)

Forget YOLO. It's all about YOOO in this ode to the golden years by Dr. Seuss. 

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Liquid Courage Glass Decanter
amazon.com
$17.99

Because what's a holiday without booze? Bottoms up, drinking buddies.

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No! Button
amazon.com
$9.87

According to this seller, "The no button was invented by two very tired parents ... Can I borrow some money? No. Can I have a puppy? No. Can my mother move in? No!" Bonus: The necessary batteries come included. 

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Lush Silky Underwear Dusting Powder
amazon.com
$17.99

Sure, it's silly name, but she'll secretly appreciate getting Lush's best-selling powder for its fresh jasmine scent and skin-smoothing effect.

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Nope Not Today T-Shirt
etsy.com
$18.00

This loose-fitting super-soft tee comes in three other neutral colors, in case she's tempted to start wearing this slogan every day. 

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Porn for Women
uncommongoods.com
$10.00

Don't worry: This book contains zero nudity — just some steamy photos of men completing household chores unasked. Whew, is it getting hot in here or is that just us? 

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