15 Beauty Products with Names So Naughty You'll Blush

There's no unseeing Nicolas Cage in a bustier on your lip gloss.

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Getty Images

If you've ever read the sides of a full rack of polish at the nail salon, you know the beauty world loves giving products — especially their colors — more suggestive names. But it's not just polish that has all the fun. Lipstick, blush and even cleanser play it a bit fast and, erm, loose. Prepare to clutch your pearls.

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Cheeky Monkey
Cheeky Money Nail Polish in I LIKE IT ON TOP

BUY NOW: $15, 

It's a top coat. Get it?


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Essie
Essie Nail Color in TOPLESS & BAREFOOT

BUY NOW:  $9, 

We choose to interpret this shade's name as a great day at the local nude beach — versus life as the wife of a misogynist. 

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Urban Decay
Urban Decay Vice Lipstick in 69

BUY NOW: $17,

Sure, lots of makeup brands give their lipstick shades numbers instead of names — but this is the only shade with a number in Urban Decay's entire Vice collection, so...


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Tarte
Tarte Tarteist Metallic Shadow in HUSSY

BUY NOW: $10,

There doesn't seem to be anything particularly promiscuous about this shimmery golden shade, so not sure where they came up with this name.

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Kat Von D
Kat Von D Studded Lipstick in BACKSTAGE BAMBI

BUY NOW: $21, 

We're pretty sure this name doesn't refer to a cute little baby deer waiting in the greenroom.

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Illamasqua
Illamasqua Nail Varnish in MILF

BUY NOW: $16, 

If you don't know what MILF stands for by now, we're not gonna break the news to you. (But if someone could explain to us how MILF equates to this shade of green, we're all ears.)

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Marc Jacobs Beauty
Marc Jacobs Beauty Air Blush Soft Glow Duo in KINK & KISSES

BUY NOW: $42, 

Call us crazy, but don't kisses usually come before kink?

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Smashbox
Smashbox Be Legendary Lipstick in SAFE WORD

BUY NOW:

$21, 

Speaking of kink, perhaps your safe word should be "Smashbox." Oh, wait... yeah, that's a bad idea. (But isn't this rosy nude a great color?)

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Glossier
Glossier MILKY JELLY Cleanser

BUY NOW: $18, 

Don't act like you're not thinking what we're thinking.

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NARS
NARS Blush in ORGASM

BUY NOW: $30,

You didn't think we'd leave the old standby off this list, did you? 

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Etat Libre d'Orange
Etat Libre d'Orange SECRETIONS MAGNIFIQUES

BUY NOW: $90,

Speaking of orgasms, you don't have to speak French to figure out what Sécrétions Magnifiques refers to.

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Clinique
Clinique Chubby Stick Lip Balm in MEGA MELON

BUY NOW: $17.50,

As if the fact that these balms are called Chubby Sticks isn't enough, pluralize "Mega Melon" and you've got what could've been the title of an NC-17 Cinemax movie from the 1980s.

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Too Faced
Too Faced Melted Matte Lipstick in SUCK IT

BUY NOW: $21, 

We had a hard time choosing between this shade and "," but ultimately, you can't argue with the unabashed brashness of "Suck It."

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Lush
Lush SEX BOMB Bath Bomb

BUY NOW: $8,

This even looks a little suggestive, doesn't it? But don't worry — any naughty implications dissolve away when you drop it in the bathtub.

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Shiro Cosmetics
Shiro Gloss in NIC CAGE POSING FOR A CALENDAR WITH SHINY BRIGHT RED CARS

BUY NOW: $9, 

Even without the helpful visual on the tube, you can't unsee this image once you hear the name.

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